For you…

First, I am writing to express my gratitude for this chance of meeting you and for the time you spare chatting with me and also for reading this. Thank you for accepting my friend requests on Instagram and Facebook.

Now, though I am not good in writing, I will be writing the words I want to say, sentences I want to convey and paragraphs I wanted to tell you here in this page. I couldn’t find the time to say this so I will write it here.

I will not say it was love at first sight but the first word that came into my mind the first time I saw you in the office was LOVELY. I just find you lovely that day despite not knowing your name. I could not help gazing from the corner and going back in forth in the printer machine just to have a look at you while you are sitting in the sofa. I didn’t know your purpose and after you left that door, I promptly ask anyone and everyone, “Sino to sya? Sino to sya?”. And after having been informed, I could not help myself not searching for you application form. I did not remember your name afterwards but Ms. HR would not let me search again. I did not get the chance to get your name but I will not forget the unfamiliar face I have been staring at. Until you came again in the office and that moment I have known your closeness with some of my colleagues, then I was able to know your name but I every time I ask them about you, instead of your name, I always referred you as RACHEL. Hahaha. (from Rachel Ann Go). They teased me for asking many questions and inserting Rachel in the conversation but I could not stop asking. HEHE. Until the time of your interview, I was still secretly staring from my cubicle, passing back in forth in the printer machine, as if pouring alcohol in my hands and then I was very glad to hear your acceptance to the firm. Few days before your first day in the office, I was always looking forward to it because of the getting to know portion as always for the newbies. Unfortunately, we were leaving the same day for the out of town inventory count but I was happy to see you before I leave. The next week, I was feeling nervous for I will be handling the seminar for newbies. I know I have treated you like my students that time but during the session, most often, I was just looking at you. We barely have conversations because I am still hesitant to approach you until that day, January 9, 2018. That day, I expect that there will be a gift but I never have thought that the one who will be handing me the cake (which I also didn’t expect) and gift was you. I was really surprise and the fact that I didn’t see it coming, I feel the redness of my whole face. A day passes by and my courage to talk to you starts to grow within myself until this moment, which I am still trying to develop, for me to be able to ask the questions I wanted to ask. For me to able to clear the reasons why I started every conversation we have.

I will not be asking any questions here. I only intend to let you know of my clear intentions towards you, how I like you and how I want to get to know you. I hope I can get a chance to talk to you about the questions I wanted to ask. I don’t want to do this things in a hurry. Instead, I’d like the old fashioned way and step by step.

I always claimed that I didn’t have this feeling because what I always have is an empty chest. However, at this moment, I can feel the beating of my heart once again.

From so many faces and names in my mind. Now I can only think of one. And your name is ……….